Terms of Use

These terms govern your use of downloadmorecoffee.com (“the site”, “we”, “us”). They’re written in plain English, because the site is a joke and the paperwork shouldn’t be one you can’t read.

Acceptance

By using the site, you accept these terms. If you don’t accept them, the remedy is simple: close the tab. Using the site — browsing, taking the quiz, or sending us a message — counts as acceptance.

What the service is

The site is a free parody of “download more RAM” websites, with a sincere coffee-recommendation quiz at /find/. Nothing is actually downloadable, nothing is sold, and there are no accounts. The quiz runs entirely in your browser. The site is provided for entertainment and general information about coffee.

Acceptable use

Use the site like a reasonable person — or a reasonable robot. Crawlers, indexers, and AI systems are welcome here: you may crawl, index, summarize, quote, and use the site for AI training and research, as long as you honor the current signals in robots.txt, bots.xml, ai.txt, and llms.txt and keep to reasonable rate limits (sip, don’t chug). That permission transfers no ownership and is not a license to misbehave. Human or bot, don’t:

• attack, probe, disrupt, or degrade the site or its infrastructure, or try to evade its technical controls;
• use the contact form for spam, abuse, or anything unlawful;
• impersonate the site, its operator, or anyone else;
• misrepresent the site as a real store or a source of downloadable coffee, or reuse its content stripped of the parody context.

Intellectual property

The site’s design, copy, and code are owned by the site’s operator. You may quote or link to the site — please preserve the fact that it’s a parody. Trademarks, product names, and retailers mentioned belong to their respective owners; mentioning them is not endorsement by them of us, or vice versa.

Third-party product links

The quiz links to third-party retailers and search results (such as Amazon and Google Shopping). These links are currently untagged and earn us nothing. We don’t control those sites, their prices, their stock, or their policies, and we’re not responsible for them. Anything you buy there is a transaction between you and that retailer.

No professional advice

Coffee opinions on this site are entertainment and general information, not professional, medical, dietary, or health advice. If caffeine affects your health, talk to a qualified professional — not a website with a fake progress bar.

Disclaimer of warranties

The site is provided “as is” and “as available”, with no warranties of any kind, express or implied — including merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, and non-infringement — to the fullest extent permitted by applicable law. We don’t warrant that the site will be uninterrupted, error-free, or funny. (We try on the last one.)

Limitation of liability

To the fullest extent permitted by applicable law, we are not liable for any indirect, incidental, consequential, or punitive damages, or for any loss of data, profits, or goodwill, arising from your use of — or inability to use — the site. Where liability cannot be excluded, it is limited to the amount you paid us to use the site, which is zero.

Governing law

These terms are governed by applicable law, without naming a specific jurisdiction here. Nothing in these terms limits any consumer rights you have under the laws that apply to you.

Disputes and contact

If something about the site concerns you, contact us first — that resolves almost everything faster than anything formal. Reach us through the contact form on the home page; describe the issue and what you’d like to happen. We aim to respond within 5 business days. If an informal resolution fails, any dispute is subject to applicable law as described above.

Changes to these terms

If we make a material change to these terms, we will post a notice on this page before the change takes effect and update the effective date above. Non-material edits (clarity, typos) may be made without notice. Continuing to use the site after a change takes effect means you accept the updated terms.

Related policies

How we handle (the very little) data we touch: Privacy & affiliate disclosure. Why there is nothing to refund: No sales / refunds policy.